Thursday, January 31, 2008

Here are the rules:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.

2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name).

3. After you are tagged, you need to update your blog with your middle name and your answers.

4. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and that they need to read your blog for details.)

L- I love to laugh, and make people laugh- especially to cut tension

I- ideas....I can come up with some crazy ideas to do something differently if given the time to think.

S- I am very sporadic...... lol if you know me then you know this is true!

T- Terrified. I am terrified of talking in front of large groups....I get shaky, I talk fast....I hate it!

L- I just want you to like me. lol

I am going to tag Parkie, Donna, Tigger, Jessica, and Amy.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

woo hoo!!!!

Attention world!!! we have furniture! One of dh's goals in life was a new bedroom set. Okay maybe not a goal in life but something he's always wanted. I have wanted it as well and last night it finally happened!! That delivery truck drove up and set it all up! of course the bed is a little too big for the room. okay, a lot too big! but eventually we'll get a house with a bigger room for us and it will be great! On a side note the fact that we turned the room around to accommodate the armoire actually makes the room that much bigger! We both love it!

Friday, January 25, 2008

I have become....

the blog nazi. My gently remind my friends to update their blogs. My current fixation would be this particular blog. Cutest little boy! about to have a baby brother and do we know about it? of course not! because she hasn't blogged since July! a travesty I tell you!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Okay- I was raised Catholic- maybe not practicing weekly catholic but still have those tendencies in me. Today's service just had me amazed/shocked/awestruck/emotional the entire time. It was loud, spirited, sad, frenetic, and bursting with joy/pain/love all at the same time. It was amazing to watch the choir sing and bring the whole church to life. People were standing, hands were raising in the air to the music, people were singing, babies were sleeping, tears were flowing, smiles everywhere followed by tears. I couldn't begin to do it justice describing it. there was a couple of songs followed by a lady that read something (not sure what it was but sounded like an open letter from someone to the family). next came a pastor who reminded us to share in the joy that was kenneth. Three people spoke in front of me,a family member, a friend of the family, a friend from school. Then me.....I was shaking like a leaf- I thought for sure my knees were going to give out. I tested the water at the very beginning--introduced myself, and explained that I have been lucky enough to have both kids for senior english and then said that I didn't know who this quiet Kenneth was that the people in front of me kept saying because he was never quiet for me. It seemed like the whole church laughed. So I went with what I'd written.

Final draft:

Tell all my mourners
To mourn in red --
Cause there ain't no sense
In my bein' dead.

Langston Hughes,
(1902 – 1967)

As I sat at my computer I thought to myself what can I say? What can I say about this boy? My third boy in three years. Another one lost, another senior not graduating. Another empty seat. But this is what I can say. I never once saw Kenneth in a bad mood. He may have had days when he didn’t feel so great but I could always look over at him and see a smile or hear a joke. He was a full of joy. He always liked to play with my name- called me Tameezy. I later found out that he’d written an entire rap around my name. In the same respect he could never say my coteacher’s name. Instead of saying kichty he’d call her Mrs Kichy. It quickly changed to itchy. I would hear across the room itchy come here! And I would have to laugh. Tameezy wasn’t as bad as itchy!

He would always get into fart contests in the middle of class. Fart contests! Who was it that said seniors were adults? He’d look at me, put his finger on his mouth to say shush and then try to blame it on someone else. He would sit at his table and run rap lines all period yet somehow get his work done and done well.

I remember he would always call one of the girls chocolate- said if you poked her liquid chocolate would just pour out. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he told me “Oh, don’t worry tameezie, you are chocolate too- you’re just white chocolate like an inside out oreo cookie. Next thing he said- “See now I am hungry!” I could never fuss at him because I was always laughing.

He was a happy spirit- always had joy in his heart and mischief in his eye. He loved a good prank. I think it’s so important that we remember Kenneth for how he lived not he was taken from us. He was a great person that brought much needed laughter and joy to many of us.
I wanted to end by reading one more poem-
Remember by Christina Georgina Rossetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more, day by day,
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that I once had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

I had a couple of ladies make agreement noises and I even got four or five laughs out of the congregation. they were right there with me. I just looked at his mom and sister the whole time. I even had two people kiss me after! they kissed me!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

one of the hardest things....

I started one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life...I will finish it Saturday morning. on Saturday I will have to read a eulogy remembering this boy. He was killed last week while relatively harmlessly watching a fight. His mother , through his sister, asked me if I would say something at the funeral. how could I say no?

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

This week's post

I am trying to think of what to add for my post of the week. Since i am the one hounding everyone to get a post in i know I have to do it as well. God knows i don't want to have Tigger hounding me!

so- what I want to talk about tonight is a song.if you have your speakers off turn them up. Listen to the song....embrace the song. Such a fantastic song. The lyrics are

Into The Ocean lyrics

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean...end it all

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

This song came out April of last year. The melody was great, the heart was in the song, I just got my brand new Jeep and the weather was perfect. The kids and I would drive to school and listen to this song over and over. And then that awful day. Just days before graduation one of our seniors drowned in the creek not too far from the school. A beautiful young boy with such promise cut down in the prime of his life. It was a hard time for all of us. And so now the song still haunts me. I am immediately put back to that week when everyone was searching for his body, dragging that murky river. I so want to love that song again...

Monday, January 7, 2008

This weekend's layout

I am slowly getting back in my groove! I wanted to catch the energy of the two kids chasing each other....I wish I could run like them! correction...I wish I wanted to run like them!
I am

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Back to work/school.

So, It's a new year and a new me. Back to the vitamins. Omega 3 oils, multi vitamin, cinnamon, and fiber. yum. blech. But it's making me healthier, right? I have started dvr'ing yoga and I have my workout bag in the jeep. now to just push play and drive across the road to the YMCA! that's my plan though.....taking off the winter weight.....swimsuit season here I come!